Shameless Optimism

It’s not a good habit to wash one’s dirty linen in public. People often hide their flaws and inflate even the minutest of qualities they have. I choose to be honest with my blog. I have never been the athlete types (though I ran the Delhi Half Marathon 4yrs ago). My visits to the jogging park near my place are more like one time guest appearances. Like majority of women, marriage has given me too bliss in the form of extra calories & piles of weight.

2.5yrs back, hubby & I went for a trek to Valley of flowers (am yet to blog about it! How lazy of me), Tungnath Chopta & Deoria Taal. I was like a kid who had to be shown lollipop to get work done. Hubby was at his motivating best, as I struggled & gasped for breath. After that trip, I decided to go for a trek only when I have consistently built lung capacity by running in the park. However, humans, being humans, love to procrastinate.

The dormant volcano in me was erupted by Discovery Channel last week. They showed a documentary on an all women group from the Indian Army who went & scaled Mt Everest. Immediately, my heart pounded with enthusiasm – when they can, why can’t I?

Someone rightly said “Dil to bachha hai ji, thoda kacha hai ji”. I was horribly bad with the Valley of flower trek & here I was, secretly dreaming for scaling the Everest or any such tough trek!

I looked on my side, mom in law & hubby were happily enjoying the documentary, oblivious to the khichdi that simmered in my mind. But the question was, how could I even mention? Like in movies, I even imagined myself disclosing my plan to them & almost instantly becoming laughing stock.

So, I just sighed. “This trek is tough na?” I asked hubby, pretended just curious. “Tough, it’s the toughest! Only few members of the groups are able to move from Camp 4 to the summit, & so many people even lose their lives. Besides it’s an expensive trek” He said. “Hmmmm….”, I said. Me wondered & wondered. “Forget it Shaivi, they will laugh at u.” I convinced myself & tried to focus on the documentary.

The heart, well, had other plans. Almost involuntary, something inside me got busy planning. “So what if it’s expensive, I could delay that ring I have been wanting to buy. Saving my salary plus some borrowing would help. But what about the main issue, remember how he was laughing at me when I was ready to give up after every 100m in the last trek? But, that was 2.5 yrs ago, this time, I will practice hard, go for a 3km run every morning so that I don’t lose breath. You only live once, why not stretch the limits, adrenaline rush, blah blah blah……” The heart was going on and on! The whistle of the cooker finally interrupted my fairy tale plans.

Being realistic, I don’t aim for Everest at this stage, but even if I manage a tough trek by the end of this year, it would give my self-confidence a new high score!

Still don’t have the guts to reveal my secret plan to Mr. Hubby. While chances are he will ask me to work on an action plan to build my stamina, I fear he may laugh at me & remind me of the previous treks. But despite knowing my previous trek records, not once has my heart/mind thought, “I can’t”. Not once have I stopped planning for it.

That’s optimism – shameless, at its best!

Pic Courtesy : Google Search