Movie - Instant Family (2018)

Genre – Family-Comedy-Drama-Emotional

Director – Sean Anders

Duration – 118 minutes

Cast – Mark Wahlberg, Rose Byrne, Isabela Merced, Gustavo Escobar, Julianna Gamiz

Watch it on – Netflix

My View

In these gloomy and tough times, one feels rather scared to switch on the TV or even login to social media, for the media is flooded with stories of pain, loss and grief. Having lost my brother few months ago to the deadly pandemic, I can say that the ones who are left behind are called survivors for a reason and the only option left with them is to pick up the broken pieces of their life and try to drag to move on. In such a pursuit of diverting my mind, I was browsing through movies on Netflix when  Instant Family popped up as a suggestion. Not in a mood for serious stuff, I thought let's give it a try and the movie proved to be an excellent cheer me up on a gloomy evening. 

The movie is based on director Sean Anders's personal experience of adopting 3 siblings. Perhaps that's why the director was so effortlessly able to bring up the issue of adoption while sticking to the genre of family comedy drama. 

A happy go lucky childless couple Peter and Elle are passionate about giving old properties a makeover. One day, Elle purchases a property and decides to do a turn it over into a beautiful house for her sister. However, when she reveals the property to her sister and her husband, their sarcasm leads to an argument which gets Peter and Elle thinking about adopting children. Soon, they enrol for a foster care program. 

While attending an adoption fair, they find it tough to zero down on a prospective kid. However, Peter finds himself drawn towards a group of teenagers, whom nobody was interested in adopting. Despite Elle's warnings, Peter tries to approach them and is welcomed by a raw and blunt 15 year old Lizzy who asks Peter and Elle to stop showing pity and look for younger children who almost everyone preferred to adopt.  Peter and Elle develop an instant liking for the brave and straight forward Lizzy and immediately express their desire of wanting to adopt her. However, that this was a package deal, for Lizzy came with her two younger siblings, Juan and Lita. Now you see, why the title is Instant Family!

While Peter and Elle were brave enough to adopt the three siblings, little did they know what they were signing up for. While the first few days were a dream family come true, soon they too joined the league of parents sharing their horror stories at the foster parents support group! 

By the way...biological or adopted...who said parenting was easy?

And thus began Peter and Elle's struggle with parenting their three adopted kids. To make matters worse, the children's biological mother's frequent meetings with the children makes it almost impossible for Peter and Elle to develop a bond with the children. But Peter and Elle were not the ones to give up so easily.

The movie is not about who wins or loses in the end but the beautiful journey of transformation from foster parents to parents. One is left tearful and moved towards the end, for the movie proves that parenting is based on the bond of love and care, not umbilical cord!

The funny dialogues between the social workers Sharon (Tig Notaro) and Karen (Octavia Spencer) add to the fun and the audience are sure to fall in love with the straight and sass Karen!

In these tough times when orphaned children is a sad and cruel reality, movies like this give a ray of positivity and give a shoutout that the world can be a much better place with some genuine and selfless love and care.

My second innings in baking

No matter how awesome breads I may bake in the future, this bread will always be the closest to my heart! Because with this bread, I resumed baking after 14 long years. Curious? 

Well, let me kill the curiosity..

I am a Hotel Management graduate. Obviously, as part of the curriculum, I learnt to bake so many cakes, breads and cookies. However, it was total "egg" cooking. Those days we were so much obsessed with having a good career that we just focussed on the destination, not the journey. As a result baking was a very procedural thing to get the right grades. Of course, those who wanted to be professional chefs did have a different approach towards the classes. But since those days I was more keen on pursuing MBA after college and wanted to make a career in marketing and communication, baking was a mere task for me which I had to complete perfectly just to get good grades. How foolish of me na! Yes, after 14 years even I think so. But there is a saying that experience is like a comb that life gives when you go bald! So no point hind sighting.

So, what is it that has suddenly transformed me into a crazy baker? 

Well, motherhood is the answer. I once wrote a post on the things motherhood taught me that nothing else did and today I proudly add baking to that list. I wanted to introduce breads to my toddler son. However, I was skeptical about the ingredients used in the commercially available bread. Finally, my chef apron and the baking journals came to my rescue! The Microwave is all smiles as it is finally getting the attention it has deserved all these years. 

Since I have long stopped eating eggs, this second innings in baking is going to be completely eggless! Therefore, I feel like a First year student again, as I research on the ways to get the best results without using eggs.

Sometimes, small initiatives give us so much joy that even money can't buy! The joy of seeing my little one cherish the breads/cakes baked by me is something words cannot explain. 

Such is the magic of motherhood!

Sabudana Kheer

/span> While moms may go to any length and breadth to make their children happy, they end up ignoring themselves. Whenever we are fasting together, my mom in law prepares a lavish fare as she knows I'm a foodie. But when she is fasting alone, she makes excuse that she is fasting strict and will break her fast next morning. 

I guess when parents get old, we children need to become their parents. It's a kind of role reversal. One can't ignore one's health.

So, when MIL was taking a nap, I soaked sabudana chupke se 

And prepared Sabudana Kheer for her in the evening.

Do I have to tell how happy she was?

Small joys of life! :)

Ingredients

Milk - 1/2 litre

Sugar - 1tbsp (I have shown the spoon used in pics)

Sago/Sabudana - 1/2 Cup Soaked for 5-6 hours

Fox Seeds/Makhana - A handful, roasted

Green Cardamom/Elaichi Powder - 2tsp

Chopped Nuts - For garnishing (Optional. I haven't used nuts as I prefer the kheer without them)

Method 

1. In a heavy bottomed pan, boil the milk. I have used a kadai here for a very weird reason. At weddings, I notice Halwais with their kadai full of milk, which they serve with Jalebis! Also, I had just prepared carrot kheer for my son in the kadai so you may notice some red carrot strands in my kheer!

2. Once the milk boils, reduce the flame and add the soaked Sabudana, stirring continuously.

3. Grind the roasted Makhana in mixie to a coarse powder. Just one small blend will give you the desired result. 

4. Add the makhana powder and elaichi powder to the milk and mix well.

5. Once the kheer begins to boil (this time at low flame) and begins to reduce, add the sugar and mix well.

6. Mix well and cook on medium flame for another 3-4 minutes, stirring continuously and tadaaa! The kheer is ready!

Trust me, there cannot be an easier way to earn brownie points from your fasting mom or mom in law!

Happy Navratra!

Love Beyond Litti

I had never heard of Litti before marriage. Usually, after the wedding, once the guests are gone, it is time to catch up on sleep and give in to the laziness. But the word lazy and my mom in law are poles apart!

As if waiting for the guests to go, she immediately got in her Master chef avatar and whipped up Rajma Chawal that would give any five star hotel chef a run for his money!

Next came something I had never seen before! Litti! While Litti is traditionally enjoyed with Chokha, mummy serves it with her signature spicy Old dilli style alu tamatar is subzi. My first reaction was "Wow, u have prepared Kachoris!" to which, she smiled and introduced me to the amazing dish.

As I savored my Littis, mummy took me through snippets from her stint at Bihar, where my father in law was shortly posted and how she picked up the recipe from local ladies in the neighbourhood.

Being the loud mouth that I am, I told mummy how much I loved the Littis. However, I loved to have them like Kachoris (and I still prefer to eat them that ways, albeibeit with a generous dollop of desi ghee poured in the heart of the Litti). I requested her to save a few so that I could carry them as a quick snack for my Honeymoon.

Next morning, as we woke up early morning to catch our flight, mummy surprised me with a box of Laddoos and freshly made Littis! While I jumped with joy initially, the next moment the joy turned into guilt, as I realized she got up much before us, just to pamper her daughter in law to a box full of Littis.

As guilt took over, I asked her "I had asked u to save a few pieces for my holiday, why did u trouble yourself by waking up sooo early?" She replied, "I wanted to give you fresh Littis which would last 3-4 days." Her humble reply left me speechless and taught me a new meaning of motherhood!

Needless to say, the Littis gave me great company during early morning sight seeing sessions in the hills when no restaurant would be open for breakfast! Like a kid, I would call mummy everyday and tell her how much I was enjoying the Littis!

Sometimes, small gestures make a big difference. I fell in love with the hot Litis and my doting mom in law!

It was also a promo of my mom in law's amazing culinary skills. Having trained under her, I can now proudly boast of my culinary skills.

Sharing a pic of these amazing Littis mummy pampered me to on a lazy rainy afternoon.

And that's how, delicious hot meals often melt away the ice in relationships!

#mominlaw #love #food #foodie

Teething Chronicles - Attention Please!

This post was written when my li'l one was 9 months old and his teething phase was the hot topic of discussion in our house. Teething is one time that really tests your patience, especially if you are a working mom. The fact that I had to leave this post  as a draft midway to attend to my cranky, teething baby is a testimony to the fact that the best way to deal with a teething baby is to drop everything aside and shower him with love and attention. But just before you think this is just a phase, let me tell you from my experience that the demand for attention keeps on growing until you just surrender to his highness Mr. Teething. Even though my son has graduated from being an infant to a toddler with a mind of his own, the demand for mumma's attention sees an exponential increase each day....

Found this post an year later in my drafts. Dedicated to all the moms for whom the  teething chronicles have  just begun!

I am becoming more tech savvy these days, thanks to S's increasing understanding of his surroundings. Parenting makes us do things we never expected to do. I had made an impressive pitch on "blogging on the go" to Mr. Hubby when I wanted to buy a tab, but stuck to my good old laptop for blogging even after the tab arrived to simplify my life. Call it motivation or need of the hour, motherhood has finally got me blogging via the tab, albeit for a different reason altogether!

As most parents would agree, teething is one of the most challenging phases. In fact in the last couple of months, almost every change in S's behaviour and health is being attributed to teething. Makes me often wonder if teething is the micro version of adolescence, for both the stages are an easy way of justifying odd changes in our otherwise angelic children.

Found the comparison weird? Well, yuo see I too am the mother of a hyper cranky teething baby. Like son, like mother!

Of the many changes teething has brought in S, the one that's bugging me big time is his constant desire for attention. Like all moms, I too dreamt of spending quality time with my child. But when the child cries even if you move away to go to the loo, it is time to pull your hair (if any left post delivering a baby!). All he wants is mumma to sit and play with him, take him wherever he wants for as long as he desires, even if it means mumma does nothing of her own or the house the whole day.

Little one has discovered the tool of crying and having his wishes fulfilled. In fact nowadays, he doesn't have to make that much of an effort to have his way. All he has to do is to make a crying face and make some cranky sounds, and within seconds, mumma  n papa are dancing around with objects of his desire, just like the snakes dancing to the tune of snake charmer.

Looking at his cute face, I have no doubt that at all of 9 months, he is nothing short of a charmer. Trying to go out of the house in his notice, or making him sit when he wants to play is as good as trying to explore a snake hole with bare hands.

For all those showering sympathy for little S and judging me as a bad mom, nobody is more pained to see S in trouble than me. I know that in times of discomfort and illness, the ultimate relief a troubled child gets is in his mom's lap. So I tried all possible ways to involve him in my activities. Taking him along in the pram to the kitchen, singing aloud to him from the bathroom to assure him I am around (yes, I do it however weird it sounds!). But a child's greed for attention seems no bound. Epecially when there is a doting dad available at his beck and call, leaving no opportunity to shower advise upon the exhausted mother!

Alas! All that a poor mom can do is to grind her teeth as she waits for the remaining teeth to pop up and give her back the non grumpy smiling baby!

Book Review - My Father Is A Hero

Author - Nishant Kaushik

Publisher - Srishti

Genre - Fiction

Pages - 199

Price - Rs. 195

First Impressions

True to its title, the book's cover welcomes readers with a humble picture of a father taking her daughter to school. Just like our fathers try to bear all our burdens on themselves, the father on the cover too, is seen carrying his daughter's school bag. Our parents are the guiding lights in our life, who hold our hands and show us the path...just like the father on the cover.

Since for me, my father is indeed my hero, I knew the book would be an emotionally enriching experience.

My View

Ask any girl about her picture of an ideal man, and she would often end up describing her father. It has often been observed that women often draw parallels between their fathers and partners, looking for positive qualities they have grown up witnessing. If there is one man who influences a girl the most in her life, he is her father. The sacrifices, the care, nurturing, guidance all make fathers role models for their daughters. After all, haven't we all heard phrases like "My Daddy strongest"; "My Daddy is the best"?

My Father Is A Hero is a touching story of Vaibhav and his daughter Nisha and the bond they share. Circumstances force Vaibhav into being a single parent. But the love for his daughter overpowers every other aspect of his life. For Vaibhav, fatherhood is not just a responsibility, it is his badge of honour; a role that empowers him to face any obstacle in life. Like all parents, Vaibhav too puts his daughter's happiness before his own. While we often witness kids being ignored by overambitious parents, here is a sacrificing father, who doesn't think twice before risking his professional growth for his daughter's career.

As one progresses through the story, one is touched by the simplicity and sacrificing nature of Vaibhav. A man of simple means, he foregoes his comforts and desires to ensure his daughter has a comfortable life and a bright future. With his own dreams long buried in the past, Vaibhav now has only one aim in his life - to make his daughter a successful singer. His obsession for fulfilling his daughter's makes him go to extremes

While destiny has been cruel to Vaibhav in terms of his profession and marriage, his daughter Nisha is the saving grace in his life. As they say in Hindi, "Doobte ko tinke ka sahara". A bright kid, Nisha too never ceases to acknowledge her father's sacrifices and tries to do everything to make him proud. Vaibhav fills her life with so much love that Nisha never feels her mother's absence.

It is not a story one reads to know the end, but a beautiful tribute to all the fathers who live for their children. While we all read various stories of sacrificing mothers, this is a unique story of a father who goes beyond than being a parent to being his child's role model. Being very close to my father, the book made me very emotional since for me too, My Father Is My Hero!

Hits

• Simple yet impactful narration
• The story strikes the right emotional cord without going overboard

I received a copy from Writersmelon in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

I Am Just A mom, Not God

(This was published in Parentous)

When a woman becomes a mother, all she wants is to be the best mother and enjoy the phase of motherhood. To ensure everything goes fine, she gets into action much before the delivery. She spends hours researching on the internet, immerses herself in parenting books, attends hours of prenatal sessions and becomes a total sponge each time someone drops advice based on their experience.

Finally comes the phase she had been waiting for nine months – to hold her little one in her arms and bask in the joy of motherhood. But, with the bliss come many surprises that the new mommy couldn’t have imagined in her wildest dreams. To begin with, the sheer number of guests paying family sized visits to the hospital, despite knowing how susceptible a newborn is to infections carried by visitors.

While all that a mom wants is a bouquet of good moments and cooperation from people around, she is often left to deal with eyes scrutinizing her abilities from all directions – beginning from....Continue reading

Book Review - The Heart Listens to No One

Author – Purba Chakraborty

Pages – 64

Price - Rs. 68 (Kindle edition)

First Impressions

At first, when I looked at the cover, I got a feeling of something mysterious or supernatural. At least the dark hue of blue and the forest signalled so. But very soon, the bird, violin and the title hinted the otherwise. As they say, one can never judge a book by its cover!

My View

Poetry has the ability to uplift our mood and transport our heart to faraway places. It was on a boring, rainy afternoon that I picked up Purba's book. Listening to the sound of raindrops dancing on my window, in no time I found myself lost in the world of love, longing, pain and memories.

"The Heart Listens to No One" is a collection of 35 poems about love. Purba rightly mentions that the heart listens to no one, for it is governed by love. Each poem is like a spice in a spice box, adding its distinct flavour to the dish of love. So, while reading "The Soul Tale", one is reminded of that first magical meeting that transforms the lives of two individuals. "Painting" depicts how love paints the canvas of heart with colours of commitment, care and passion. "kaleidoscope" tells of that moment in love when eyes do the talking and words lose relevance. Reading "Musical Silence", I could imagine myself sitting next to lovers on a starry night, witnessing the music of silence, when feelings are miles ahead of expressions. "A long winter night is all about preserving memories of precious moments. Having retained many sarees worn by my mom, I know how old clothes and characteristic fragrances ring in nostalgia. Being sincere in a relationship also amounts to watering the memories, so they become immortal. For each union, there is also a separation. Time flows like a river, transporting the once inseparable lovers to different shores of life. Often, the separation isn't pleasant (Well, when has separation been good, anyway?). Sometimes, the very same gifts that remind us of the good moments are like thorns pricking us every now and then by their presence. The traces of the burnt days then, have to be wiped out (Traces and fragments).

Since Purba has been wise enough to divided the book into themes (Love, longing, Romance, fond reminisces and separation), one doesn't feel as if reading a book. Lost in the world of love, I felt as if I was a spectator in a theatre, witnessing a romantic play! The beautiful words magically weaved the imageries, like the scenes of a play. 

If you enjoy reading romance, the section "romance" will find a place in your heart; when a mere gaze makes up for love letters and moments spent apart. It is amazing how one can experience the joy of a lifetime in those few moments spent with her beloved. But then, such is the magic of true love!

If you have ever been in love, the book will take you to the magical world, where soul is the boss and love, the only logic. If you are yet to be lucky with love, the poems like raindrops will sprinkle the divinity of love!

Thumbs Up

• This is Purba's first work that I have read and I am impressed by her ability to express the most intense emotions so effortlessly. 
• Real beauty lies in less and simple and going by the simple language and short poem format, she has used the simplicity well to her advantage.
• The poems strike an instant chord with the readers. Some tickle joy when they rekindle memories, while some strike the blow of refreshing unpleasant memories. 

But then, umm...

• I would have really loved if the cover spoke about love as much as the poems did.

My Rating 

4.5/5 

About the author

Purba Chakraborty is the author of two novels “Walking in the streets of love and destiny” (2012) and “The Hidden Letters” (2014). “The Heart Listens to No One” is her first poetry book. She has also contributed her poems and short stories in several anthologies such as “Rhymes and Rhythm”, “Minds @ Work 4”, “Kaafiyana”, “Mélange~ a potpourri of thoughts”, “Fusion~ a mingled flavor mocktail”, “Stories for your Valentine” etc. You can visit her blog www.reverieofpurba.blogspot.in to read more of her writings.  

I received a copy of the book from the author for an honest review.

Save Today For A Better Tomorrow

(This was published in Parentous)

A few days ago, as mom-in-law had just finished giving my son a bath, I noticed that she had left around 2 mugs of water in the bucket. For my 10 month old, bath time is fun time with splashing, toys and laughter. Usually, even when he’s done with the shower, we play a splashing game with the remaining amount of water. “Pour the little water left in bucket on him mom. He will enjoy!” I suggested.

What my mom-in-law said next gave me the Eureka moment of parenting…

“Using a natural resource more than we need amounts to wastage. We are lucky to be born in a place that isn’t drought affected. Only if we save water today, our son will have water tomorrow.”

Her words kept hovering in my mind for several minutes. As parents we want to provide the best to our children. We strive hard so that our children have everything in sufficient quantities. In this quest to provide the best for our kids, we often mistake abundance for sufficiency. Children too grow up thinking, “It’s OK, our parents can afford anything.” Sometimes this very notion takes them away from a basic lesson in life – Only if we use judiciously and conserve the rest, our future generations will have abundant natural resources...continue reading...

His first Father's Day!

Mr. Hubby is a father now. With the status upgrade has come a lot of change and I am relishing every bit of it. I am getting to see the soft side of the tough guy I have know for seven years. Earlier, it was me who was the delicate darling, acknowledging every small hit, fall and collision with the furniture with ouch and a crying face; while Mr. Hubby would ask me to be careful, then frown and ask if I hurt myself. No coochy coochy sympathies. Just practical solutions. 

One instance can change your life. For men, it is fatherhood that brings a big change in them. The same tough guy now can't even tolerate the slightest discomfort to his cub. This morning, when little S was playing on the floor, he rolled over and banged his head against the floor. It wasn't as big an issue as the decibel levels made it sound. However, what surprised me was the protective daddy dearest dashing to hold his cub and going "ohhhhhh..awww..my babyyyy" My repeated reminders that it was a small hit fell on deaf ears as Mr. Hubby asserted I get the ice pack. "But we should be brave and make the baby rough and tough" I said and was immediately told "But he is so delicate". By this time the li'l one too realised that I was being the roadblock in his pampering and his howls became louder. The practical mom had lost the morning battle against the father-son bonding. However, she was enjoying witnessing every bit of it!

With my inbox flooding with father's day offers, I too got motivated to make Father's Day special. But, with a serious practical types hubby and a 1 year old, I hardly had options. One thing I was very sure of. I wanted to gift something which the li'l one was a part of, which meant no fancy gifts money can buy. 

And I didn't have to struggle for ideas.

While both Mr. Hubby and I had been eager to hear little S say mumma and papa, the li'l one proved to be a mamma's boy, as he said "Ammaaa". Yes, Amma. Do you expect a one year old to pronounce mom? Well, I don't. So, Ammaaaa these days is the most melodious music to my ears. Not to miss that he is officially declared as my carbon copy! 

Unlike most couples who make the first word a prestige issue, both of us were very cool with it. Each time little S goes "Ammaaaaa", Mr. Hubby too starts teasing me as Amma and I go all blushing. Though he never says, I know how good Mr. Hubby would feel upon hearing "pa-pa"! And I had an idea.

What if the li'l one says "Papa" by this Father's Day? Wow! This would be the best Father's Day gift!

The problem with being an ex-corporate trainer is, that you can think you can even train a horse to dance, or atleast you may try. After all, as per me, the law of repetition could do anything!

So since last week, whenever little S and I would be alone, I would go "Pa-Pa, Papapapapapapapa" and look at my son's face in anticipation, waiting for a miracle. Instead all I would hear from him would be a burst of laughter. 

I dunno what it is in the simple word that the little one finds so funny! However, I was not willing to give up. Calling the AV aid to my rescue, I logged on to Youtube for help and found this video

However, the little one was in no mood to budge. The video had the same effect. When I told my mom in law, she said "How can you train the kids of 4G generation, who do everything their way? Even the kid is finding your attempts silly and laughing on them"

After a week of failed attempts, the baby gave me my lessons -

• Parenting is NOT easy
• The 4G generation kids cannot be told what to do, instead they will call the shots
• It is silly to use corporate tricks at home

And most importantly,

Never underestimate the power of father son bonding! Yes, this afternoon, I realised I didn't have to use my brain so much. In fact, I think I should just be the mom and let the father son be. 

Did the father get a Father's Day gift? Of course, he did, albeit my son's way - Precious moments of bonding as the father son duo hugged and enjoyed their afternoon siesta together!

Happy Father's Day!

Time to even it out!

Life post baby, for me has been a hands full affair. As a working woman, the juggle between office, household chores and baby's needs often left me drained at the end of the day. 

All parents would agree that with a small baby, laundry is not limited to a weekend only affair. Every day when I return from work, the house welcomes me with an excited baby and a huge pile of dirty laundry. So, after a quick chai, I would get ready for the daily date with my washing machine.

My Hubby however, has a very different schedule. Evenings post work for him are for relaxation and spending time with the baby. "When both of us are working, why are household chores my baby and just an option for my hubby?" I often wondered. 

Around the same time, I came to know about the #LaundryGoesOddEven activity. Already desperate to even out my burden, this seemed like a the perfect chance & I immediately enrolled. 

My hubby was surprised when after a few days, the Ariel packet arrived for the #LaundryGoesOddEven activity. But I also realised that getting him on for the game wasn't an easy task. After all, which man would want to do away with their leisure time? The Odd Even happening on Delhi roads gave me the idea & I told him that while #OddEven can help reduce pollution in Delhi, #OddEven in laundry might just get some fairness at the home front. 

So, it was decided that I would do the laundry on even days while on odd days, hubby would offload me and take care of the laundry. 

With the odds and evens settled, I eagerly await every alternate day, when i would have some free time while hubby would play my cooperative partner in #OddEven.

And it has been a win win situation for me. The evenings that just rushed with the laundry are now giving me a chance to explore myself. I can -

• Read a book

• Listen to music & relax my mind

• Spend quality time with my baby

• Take a quick nap and recharge my batteries

We women like to take the entire load on ourselves. However, sharing the load would not only reinforce gender equality, but also set the right example for future generations. 

I am taking part in the #LaundryGoesOddEven Challenge by Ariel India at BlogAdda