With much sadness, I announce that its exam time again. Exams I feel are like common cold – no matter how much u dread them, or try to escape, they are bound to catch u. Just like common cold, there is no perfect way to handle exams, even if you know the perfect tricks. There are always the surprise moments which leave you laughing at your confidence – sometimes at excess of it, or the lack of it. But nevertheless, like cold, they come once every season, you have to go through the rituals & they are gone.
As a kid, even though I used to write my exams on my own, yet, I feel they actually were the responsibility of my mom. Poor mom used to wake up with me at the odd hours, helping me with anything and everything. Sometimes motivating me when I used to get depressed, otherwise chase and scold me to study, then her sweet curd before I went to write the paper; and waiting for me outside the examination hall, immediately taking the paper and asking what I wrote. Mothers are like x ray machines – she used to get my state of mind by looking at my face. So, if I avoided eye contact with her, she used to say “hand me the question paper & just forget about it”, never even waiting for me to give an explanation. And mind you, this happened right through college!
But I have to admit that had it not been for the fear of her scolding, I would have never studied the way I did. Like most youngsters, I too didn’t realize the long term effects & used to study just to finish the task at hand and make mom proud during the result day. And I used to wait for the day when I would grow up and no longer have to write papers.
And now, I wonder what I am doing with myself. There is no compulsion to study. I am no longer answerable for any course I take up. Yet, I study. I get into the same activity that I had waited to get rid off! And when one level is over, I promptly enroll myself for the next one, raising the bar high, axing my own foot.
So , I have an exam tomorrow (and yes, look at my guts, I am blogging!) and because I don’t feel like studying the Oh so tough subject, I ask myself, what do I do to get me studying? All the fears of scolding etc have long faded into history. The same parents, no matter how I perform, now appreciate me for having tried. Mr Hubby always encourages me to just give my best and dump the rest!
The only motivation left now, is perhaps to genuinely learn something, to add some value to life, and to try my best for future. All long term stereotype gyaan. No mom now to scold me and get me into instant action. No short term motivation! But that’s what I always used to dread. And now, when it has gone, I am finding ways to get a short term motivation! Life….hehe…
Oof, exams are here again,
Bringing with them lots of pain
No matter how much I study
Everything goes in vain
Yet, they say no pain no gain
In this world, u gotta sustain
So I whip my slowing brain
Before I go insane!
And as always, here are some Google pics...