5 lessons only motherhood could have taught me

(This was published in Parentous )

The inspiration for this post came few days ago after a telephonic conversation with my mom in law. As I was discussing my daily challenges faced while managing the baby and the hacks I have developed, she chuckled and said, “I am very impressed with you and your little one. I am glad he has been able to teach you overnight, what I had been trying for 6 years!”

My initial reaction was a mix of shock, anger and confusion, for I didn’t know whether to take it as a mere compliment or a backhanded compliment. Since I have a great rapport with her, I dismissed the latter option however, it was too thought provoking a remark to be forgotten.

And so, I began to think what is it that motherhood teaches us, that nobody else can –

Priorities and altruism

Being the youngest of four children in my family, altruism was always a distant concept. My wishes would literally get fulfilled before I even completed the sentence and the whole family doted on me. Since I was the first daughter in law of the family, the trend continued after wedding as well, as everyone showered me with gifts and attention. There are things I could never have compromised on – sleep, my blogging time, that favourite TV show and even my favourite dish. Many people close to me have been victims of my ire the few times they mistakenly disturbed me in the middle of writing a post.

However, the baby changed it all overnight!...Continue Reading

How to make a simple Good Morning, A Gold Morning

Mornings have something magical about them. No matter how low you might have felt the day before, morning is bound to bring freshness and positivity. They have the power to connect self with the inner self; the perfect time for meditation. No wonder you will find students waking up early mornings and study topics they find otherwise tough to comprehend. Fitness enthusiasts too find mornings the perfect time to rejuvenate the body and mind.

Until recently, I wasn’t a morning person. I loved staying late till nights and enjoying my solace. Subsequently, mornings were limited to waking up with a start and managing to get ready for school or college just in time.

I discovered the power of mornings few years ago when I went for a residential MBA. While our schedule was super hectic with us racing against submission deadlines, there were few who managed to keep their cool. There is more to life than just a good CGPA, and these people very well knew this. They spent early mornings to think about themselves, count their blessings, plan for the day ahead and take a step a day towards a healthy body and mind. It is always good to imbibe good things observed and that’s exactly what I did. The view of rising sun in the hills from my window just acted as a motivator.

With time and changing circumstances, I too developed my own way of utilizing the morning time effectively. Here’s how I learnt to turn a simple morning into a gold morning

1.   An early start with warm water

Waking up early and having a glass of warm water with lemon juice and honey is an excellent way to save the body of the toxin abuse throughout the day. It also ensures a good bowel movement and everyone knows the good it does to your skin!

2.   Half an hour tete a tete with fitness

We might be full of excuses to escape the fitness routine, but half an hour is something each one of us can take out for a healthier us. Go out in nature and look at the rising sun. Listening to the message of nature can give such a feel good factor!

Just looking at the sunrays brightening the sky and birds chirping bring such positivity! Don’t walk with weight loss in mind. Walk at a comfortable pace and take each step as a step towards positivity. Trust me, you will be able to walk a lot more than you do otherwise and enjoy each step

3.   The tea time is an excellent Me time

We often rush into tea time or club it with newspaper. The next time, brew a nice aromatic tea and sit in peace, savouring each sip. Focus on the aroma and the freshness it infuses. Make the tea time a Me time, when you can plan things for the day and make small note.

4.   Brush off the negativity

For most of us, brushing teeth is something often done in a hurry. The next time, you brush your teeth, think of it as cleansing time. With each stroke, you ward off the germs, negativity and lethargy and you will enjoy the brushing experience! The final cleanse takes away all germs and brings about a sense of freshness, just like the fresh morning. Use a good toothbrush that gives soft but thorough cleaning. 

The new Colgate 360⁰ Charcoal Gold Toothbrush is an excellent choice to begin your mornings with, for it effectively cleans teeth, tongue, cheeks and gums. 100% antigerm bristles fight germ growth on your brush for upto 90 days. The Charcoal infused slim tip bristles clean and remove stains. With 17 times slimmer tip bristles, Colgate3600 CharcoalGold Toothbrush reaches deeper in between teeth and along the gumline.

So, tomorrow morning, don’t just wake up. Wake up to a Gold Morning! with #Colgate360GoldMornings.

Books I read in 2015

If there’s someone who’s company can never put you off, it is undoubtedly books. Awesome weather, a cup of ginger tea and a lovely book in hand make for a perfect afternoon date with self that I often pamper myself to. 2015 was a very different year though. I spent half of the year being pregnant. In between mood swings, morning sickness, office deadlines and housework, as energy levels dipped, reading too didn’t get the due time it should have got. I used to always think of the books I would read when I would be expecting, and had even made few reading wish lists. But what a boring life if everything goes as planned! I discovered parenting blogs and apps which they gave me access to a wide variety of information in much lesser time.

Time check – 2 hours to go for IndiSpire topic to close! I just can't afford to miss writing about the books I so very enjoyed reading and sneaked out time for. Focus!

So, without wasting time, here are the few books I read in 2015. The best part though about 2015 has been that I have been able to review ALL the books I read.

1.   He Fixed the Match, She fixed Him –

2015 began with romance. This is Shikha’s debut and she did a pretty good job at that. A Cinderella love story and a fairytale wedding that transforms into a nightmare, as quickly as it had blossomed! But then, how can a love story end on a revengeful note! Grab the book if you love RomComs and savor every page as if you are reading a story. 

Read the complete review here – Book review – HeFixed the match, She fixed Him.

2.   My Clingy Girlfriend –

Relationships are like butterflies, hold them tight and they suffocate to death; but give them space and see the beauty of their colors. That’s the very essence of this hilarious book that brings laughter, sympathy, humor, anger all at the same time. My Clingy girlfriend is a funny sad tale of a Bengali boy who is stuck between an over possessive girlfriend, office politics, useless friends and umpteen desires. At one point, it seems like a no escape situation for Obro. Grab the book to know whether he finally manages to get rid of the problems in his life and also, to read some very funny How To’s. A very interesting book penned by a woman, narrated from a man’s perspective.

Read the complete review here – Book Review – My ClingyGirlfriend 

3.  Mandate : Will of The People –

Does politics interest you, but not the biased approach of most authors and media persons? If so, The Mandate is the book I would recommend. Mandate is simply a tale of Indian politics from 1970s to the early 2000s, sans views, opinions or unnecessary gyaan about its impact. And that’s the very beauty of this book. It’s a ready key to knowing the people, events and forces that contributed to the creation of the country we live in today. Since the book isn’t verbose or boring, it’s served best when enjoyed at a leisurely pace. As one progresses chapter by chapter, one comes across some very surprising facts about Indian politics that most of our generation wouldn’t have much idea about. A must read.
  

Read the complete review here – Book Review –The Mandate : Will of The People

4.   There’s Something About You –

This is not your typical boy-meets-girl book. Okay, they do meet, but there are some complications. That’s the essence of this romantic comedy by Yashodhara Lal. The book sails through on Yash’s ability to create characters and situations readers can totally relate to. Grab the book for a rather unusual account of the Boy-meet-girl story. TSAU will make you laugh, cry and think a lot about the uncertain thing called life and relationships.    

Read the complete review here – Book review – There’s something about you.

5.   Bhima – The Man In The Shadows –

We all know Pandavas as the perfect humans, Bhima being the perfect, sincere son, husband, father and brother. But he was after all a human! Having best of men as brothers and conflicting love interest can prove to be a tough situation even for toughest of men. And so, our macho hero too, felt like a man in shadows. The book tries to capture an aspect of Mahabharat that no one has attempted to touch upon before – Mahabharat from Bhima’s perspective. It is a herculean task to capture all the important aspects of a story like Mahabharat, but the author’s attempt is commendable.

Read the complete review here – Book Review– Bhima - The Man in the Shadows

6.   The Bestseller She Wrote –

The year ended on this awesome book that kept me hooked on! Ravi Subramanian’s books have always been treat reads. I had thoroughly enjoyed reviewing his last book, God is a Gamer. So, when I came to know he is foraying into the genre of romance, it was a pleasant surprise!  When it comes to romance, Indian writers usually fall prey to predictable storylines and I wondered how different Ravi’s book would be. However, having read the book, I can confidently say that not only has he successfully penned a bestseller, but has integrated his signature style of thrill and suspense into romance!

Read the complete review here – Book Review – The Bestseller She Wrote.

2015 has been a year of fiction. Hope to read a lot more of that and dive into many more genres in 2016! Happy New Year!

This post is written for Indispire – Books You read in 2015

Durga

The first time I looked at her, I just kept looking for few seconds with eyes wide open. There wasn’t anything extraordinary about her. Spotless white uniform, grey hair neatly tied into a bun, a simple look with not even a trace of makeup, yet she looked graceful and radiant in her own right.

She was the lady traffic controller at the traffic signal near my office.

We had recently relocated from Delhi to Mumbai. I was anyway dealing with a sea of cultural change; however, a lady traffic controller was a sight I don’t remember having witnessed in Delhi. The first day I saw her, I called up my husband after reaching office.“You know what, they have lady traffic controllers here!” I told him with enthusiasm and surprise. He seemed equally surprised. We briefly discussed how it would be if we started having the same in Delhi. Delhi is already known to be very unsafe for women and almost every rash driver has his HiFi links protecting him. Even if they have women traffic controllers in Delhi, I wonder if people would let them do their work in peace. Being born and brought up in Delhi, I knew that women traffic controllers would just become new eye candies and who knows the brats would break rules just to strike a conversation with a good looking lady traffic controller.

I thought of telling her this and asking about her opinion, perhaps know more about her and how she manages this predominantly men’s job. But, fearing that she might get offended, I decided to stay mum.

Few months passed like that. She became a part of my daily commute to work and often, when I crossed the signal on foot, I gave her a smile which she promptly reciprocated. My appreciation for her grew more on a particular morning when the signal lights stopped working due to some technical default. Her male colleague might have gone to check the matter as she was alone. There she was, managing a chaotic and busy traffic signal, sans traffic lights all by herself, that too during peak office hours! For a moment, I stood nearby, impressed by the discipline she maintained, for not even a single person dared disobey her orders.

I was in my 8^th month of pregnancy when I finally had a chance for a tete a tete with her. She used to notice me cross the signal with a huge baby bump every morning and often, ensured I crossed the road before she let the traffic open.

One afternoon as I was out for a stroll post lunch, luckily she was on a break while her male colleagues were managing the traffic. Not wasting a moment, I walked up to her and appreciated her for the good work. “Madam, main to bas meri duty karti hai” (Madam, I just do my duty) was all she said with a smile. I then told her I was from Delhi, the safety concerns of women there and what would happen if women started manning traffic signals there. She listened to me with a smile, and then told me that in her tenure of 11 years, not even once had she faced any trouble for being a woman – something that increased my respect and appreciation for the people of Mumbai.

A mother of 2, Durga (name changed) came from a humble background. The sole breadwinner of their family, her husband had succumbed to a road accident. Burdened by financial troubles, this mother of 2 decided to maintain her dignity and raise her children on her own sans any financial help from her parents. Choosing this profession was more of a personal choice, since Durga wanted to ensure no more lives are lost to violation of traffic rules.

But it wasn’t a cakewalk for her. Long hours of strenuous duty left her completely drained. By the time she reached home, there was a pile of housework waiting for her attention. Since those were crucial career years for her daughter, she didn’t want to burden her with house work and somehow managed everything by herself. However, her colleagues were more than happy to help. After all, God helps those who help themselves. The male colleagues deployed with her often swapped places when she appeared tired and let her take breaks. Also, the wife of a colleague staying nearby offered to help the kids with their studies by charging a nominal fee for tuition. For Durga, a headstrong woman with oodles of dignity, a complete waiver would have anyways been unacceptable.

Today, her daughter is studying in college and her son is preparing for IIT entrance exam, she tells me with a proud smile.

Not all people come triumphant from adversities of life. Women like Durga command even a higher respect. In a situation where an ordinary woman would have gone blank with shock, she thought of taking it on herself to erase the cause that not only took away her husband, but also poses a threat to other lives.

For me, she is no less than goddess Durga herself, with her many hands managing many responsibilities, and ensuring that the good wins over the evil.

On my maternity break now, I can’t wait to meet Durga again and tell her how she continues to inspire me everyday!

This contest is written for #SpreadTheVibe contest by @YouthKiAwaaz and @indiblogger

How I made travel fun and safe during pregnancy

There’s a famous quote “The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.” True to these words, my hubby and I are passionate about travelling. Be it a long weekend or festive offs, we are off the beaten road, exploring new destinations. Road trips give us that adrenaline rush, Delhi-Mumbai and Delhi-Kedarnath base camp being some of our memorable road trips.

But what happens when an avid traveller is kept away from her passion? Well, she feels like a sick person. Exactly that’s how I felt when I became pregnant. We had recently relocated from Delhi to Mumbai and had not spared even a single long weekend to explore the lovely getaways around Mumbai. However, the moment I made that call to my parents and in laws to give the good news, the first advice, rather order from them was, “Now apply brakes on your travel and relax at home for nine months.” Relax at home! But setting out off the beaten path was our way of relaxing, away from the maddening rush of the city!

Did pregnancy stop me from enjoying travel? The answer is a big NO! Pregnancy is not a disease. I did two solo air travels during pregnancy – first, shortly after I discovered I had conceived, and the second in 7^th month.

Like a good girl, I obeyed my doctor and elders and avoided road trips till I completed the first trimester. The severe morning sickness was also a big factor keeping me away from travel. However, the situation improved by the time I hit the second trimester. Morning sickness was gone and I regained my energy levels. Hubby and I were craving to travel. We knew once the third trimester would begin, we wouldn’t be able to hit the road for a long time, and then we wouldn’t be able to travel with an infant that comfortably. So, towards the end of my second trimester, we cashed on a long weekend and went for a memorable Babymoon! Not for a second did pregnancy come in the way of enjoying my trip, thanks to few basic rules I followed. I am sure these tips will come handy to all my expecting friends who love to travel!...Continue Reading

Evergreen New Year Resolutions

I’m the most disappointing person when it comes to New Year resolutions and fulfilling them. Often when I am asked about my New Year resolution, my prolonged thinking mode & silence turns people away. Saves me the torture! If you were to ask me if I have ever made a New Year resolution and fulfilled it…you will be bored to death waiting for an answer.

It’s not that I never made resolutions. My childhood that fortunately was free of the World Wide Web and mobile technology saw us exchanging handmade New Year greeting cards (Buying expensive cards from Archie's Gallery were reserved for Birthdays and special occasions). Making New Year resolutions then was as important a ritual as exchanging cards. If you didn’t make a resolution, your celebration didn’t go complete.

So I too gave in to the trend and made these same funny resolutions every year –

• Losing weight –This one placed itself on priority every year. After all, have you ever met a girl who feels she has the ideal weight? However, success or failure of this resolution was relative. If the girl sitting next to me in class was heavier than me, it felt like resolution achieved at the beginning of the academic year itself. But if my desk partner turned out to be a hot chic, the resolution always felt broken. By the time New Year’s Eve came back, knocking on the door, I was already in the SWOT mode and always felt I needed to lose weight.
• Getting first position in all sections – This was my parents’ all time favorite. Typical Indian parents keep pushing their child for more, even if their offspring is a child prodigy. Even if I ranked within the top three in my class, I always saw a “You could have done better” look while I knew friends whose parents pampered them even if they scored just above 80%. The only time I felt like a scholar was when I used to go to Nirula’s to show my Report card and enjoy the free Scholar’s double Sundae! (Nirula’s used to offer free special Sundae to kids who scored 90% or more in their final exams!) Looking back now, I realize this was a blessing in disguise, for if you aim for moon, at least you get the stars. But back then, the pressure ensured this resolution was scripted at the top in my copy on every New Year’s Eve.

As I look at them now, I laugh out loud! If they weren’t fulfilled the first year, why did I hope for magical results every year?

With time, the resolutions changed from everything one desires during adolescence to the ambitious 20s. By the time I was into 4-5 years of corporate grind, I saw myself making resolutions like “meditating for 15 min every day, spending less time on phone etc.” Soon I was married and resolutions changed to “calling mom everyday for 15-20 minutes.”

Things I was supposed to do immediately were transformed into resolutions, whose progress one usually monitors by the time it’s time to make new ones.

And then, blogging happened…

I had gone for a residential MBA post marriage when blogging & I discovered each other. It was love at first sight and soon we couldn’t spend nights apart. Contests were a new thing to me back then and participating in any and every contest sounded exciting to me. Seeing my name in the winners list gave me a high that even a good CGPA didn’t.

The momentum broke once I returned home. Job, home and responsibilities jumped the line and claimed priority attention. Writing for contests then usually meant fire fighting few hours before the deadline for submission. As for impromptu blogging ideas, I began to maintain a Word document and whenever an idea popped, I promptly noted it in that document.

Soon motherhood took over every other thing. Contest deadlines were missed, word document was filled never to be reviewed, and the blogger inside grew tired of complaining. Even if the deadline was comfortably far, creativity would have mercy on me only a day before submission deadline.

Few days ago, I missed writing for a contest that really interested me and it hurt, not because of the prizes, but for the opportunity it gave me to test my writing skills vis a vis hundreds of other blogger.

So, this New Year’s Eve, I resolved to do something for the stuff that’s so close to my heart.  

• Writing for contest posts well ahead of time. I know my mind throws fabulous ideas a night before the deadline, but nobody has banned drafting a post and saving in drafts, well before deadline to be modified later.

• Also, I intend to work on the frequency of posting. An average blogger who posts periodically is far better than an amazingly creative blogger who plays the hide and seek. I know it won’t be easy but as Mr. Hubby tells me every time, there is always time for what we really wanna do!

P.S.  Somehow I have come to realize that often, the toughest or next to impossible tasks are dumped under the cover of New Year resolutions…As if, poor New Year will give in to pressure of our dreams and aspirations and magically transform the impossible into possible. My sympathies with the New Year!

 

#NewYear #Resolutions #Humor

Book review – The Bestseller She Wrote

Author – Ravi Subramanian

Publisher – Westland

Genre – Fiction

Pages – 391

Price – Rs. 295

Sneak from the cover

Master storyteller Ravi Subramanian delves into the glitzy world of bestsellers and uncovers a risky dalliance between a superstar novelist and his alluring protégé. The Bestseller She Wrote is a combustible cocktail of love, betrayal and redemption.

The Cover

A man, woman and a book - The cover page illustration is as transparent as the title itself. Since we know the book has an element of romance, one wonders how the book connects these two individuals. The curious mind begins the guessing game – Does a book unite the two lovers? I made few guesses and thought it best not to waste time, so I immersed myself in this Bestseller.

The dedication page makes the loyal reader smile with pride, as Ravi dedicates the books to the readers.

My View

Ravi Subramanian’s books have always been treat reads. I had thoroughly enjoyed reviewing his last book, God is a Gamer. So, when I came to know he is foraying into the genre of romance, it was a pleasant surprise!  When it comes to romance, Indian writers usually fall prey to predictable storylines and I wondered how different Ravi’s book would be. However, having read the book, I can confidently say that not only has he successfully penned a bestseller, but has integrated his signature style of thrill and suspense into romance!

This book reminds me of two lessons from childhood -

• Being successful is one thing. What is tougher is to retain the success and remain level headed.
• There are two ways to success – Work hard and outperform your competitors, or else, kill the competition by hook or by crook. While we may have our own thoughts about what is ethical, people believing in cut throat competition are oblivious to this sensitivity.  

A successful banker, six feet tall, handsome, a voice enigmatic enough to woo any woman – Aditya Kapoor, the paperback king of India is every inch the celeb material! Having successfully transformed from a boring banker to a bestselling author, this self made man is every youngster’s role model. Its an act he juggled with finesse – managing a tough banking job and a flourishing career as a writer; for he knew how to keep the two worlds separate. So he never let his writing affect his work commitments or vice versa.

As a blogger myself, I sometimes wonder how spouses of bestselling authors cope up. Being on your own most of the time with a busy and famous spouse is not everyone’s cup of tea. Nor it was for Maya, Aditya’s better half. But, love and commitment makes anything possible. So, a patient and caring Maya sacrifices her corporate career for her husband and derives satisfaction in managing her family well. She was true epitome of the phrase – Behind a successful man is a woman.

But what life is a life if it’s perfect? There is no fun without twists and turns. So, Aditya’s life too sees its biggest twist when he meets young Shreya at an event in IIM Bengaluru.

20 something Shreya Kaushik too, falls in the category of winning at any cost. Young, beautiful, fearless, reckless and ambitious – Shreya has a mind of her own. Beauty and wit are her assets. No man can resist her and she is very well aware of it. And that’s when trouble begins.

When two people with different value systems come together, the results are far from pleasant. Shreya is a smart gal who doesn’t fail to seize any man or opportunity that can catapult her to success.

Shreya combines planned coincidences with an innocent display and a clueless Aditya is smitten by her. Little does he realize how soon a negative remark from a spectator at a lecture transforms into a relationship. Like a weed, Shreya clings on to him as an innocent wannabe writer asking for his mentoring, however, soon spreads to his personal and professional domain.

Soon Shreya becomes the focus of Aditya’s life, with even his own writing taking a backseat against her ambitions. One feels sorry to see how a loyal and loving husband falls prey to an adulterous relationship. A clueless Maya continues be at her sacrificing best, oblivious to the broth cooking while she is busy with motherhood and her official assignments. All this while, one just marvels at Ravi’s excellent storytelling as one feels s/he is not reading a book but is watching a movie!

Just like all good things come to an end, trouble starts brewing when Aditya smells ambition in Shreya more than love. To make matters worse, their relationship soon becomes visible to people it should have never been. Even though Aditya realises his mistake, Shreya isn’t an easy person to deal with. She plays her cards so smartly that in a short span of time, Aditya’s personal life profession, and writing are in doldrums! With everything at stake at once, one wonders whether Aditya will be able to get his act together or not.

It is then that another twist in the story proves that there was something beyond being a bestselling author that set Aditya apart from the rest - his ethics and values that he never compromises on. Had there been someone else, he would have crumbled under pressure. In fact, the story  even has one such character. However, Aditya’s sincerity towards his commitments and level headed mind is very impressive. One knows that Aditya is the hero. Eventually, he will win the troubles over and prove to be the perfect role model. But HOW?

Usually, romantic stories become predictable by this stage, however, it's exciting that the readers still remain clueless as to what turn the story would take to get Aditya’s life back in shape.

Without giving spoilers, I would recommend you to read and find that out yourself. As for me, it took me sitting up till late night to kill my curiosity! But that’s the best part about Ravis’s stories. One can never predict what's gonna happen and you are in the nail biting mode till the end. And the moment the suspense is broken, you are like, “What? I could have never guessed this” Well, welcome to the world of romantic thrillers, if I may categorize so!

And oh! I forgot to mention the amazing tips inside the books for wannabe bestselling writers! Sharing few, grab the book for more –

• Rags to riches works for non-fiction books and true stories  - at times even for films. But for fiction, in india, specifically, tragedy rules. Reading about someone else’s woes and crying bucketfuls is a national past time!
• New authors should try and reach out to a publisher through an agent or through someone they know. Helps avoid their manuscript going into the slush pile.
• Publishers are like potential love interests. The more you chase them, the more they run away from you and the more you let them be, the more they are drawn to you.

What I loved about the book

• Ravi’s art of storytelling. The story picks up pace almost instantly and maintains it till the end. One can’t help but remain glued to the book!
• Language is crisp and the plot devoid of any drags.
• Being his debut in the genre of romance, I must compliment the dignity with which Ravi describes romantic encounters. While most authors adopt cheap tricks of filling pages with sensuous descriptions and fantasies, Ravi knows where to draw the line.
• As I mentioned above, most romantic stories get predictable after 150 odd pages and reading till the end is a mere formality for the reviewer. But the twists and turns and a climax one couldn’t have thought of – that’s the beauty of Ravi’s books 

What could have been better

While everything is fair in fiction, one feels the story could have been just as delightful sans a few deviations. The whole Ebola affair and magical recovery as well as the involvement of Ramesh Karia seems rather dramatic and too much to believe.

My rating

4/5

About the Author

Ravi Subramanian, an alumnus of IIM Bengaluru, has spent two decades in the world of global banks in India. Four of his seven bestselling titles have been award winner. The Bestseller She Wrote is Ravi’s first book on romantic intrigue. Ravi lives in Mumbai with his wife and daughter.

Connect with Ravi Subramanian at –

www.ravisubramanian.in

email – info@ravisubramanian.in

Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/authorravisubramanian

Twitter - http://twitter.com/subramanianravi

Buy Book - http://www.amazon.in/dp/9385152386

You can also get in touch with the Ravi Subramanian App (iOS or Android)

I am reviewing ‘The Bestseller She Wrote’ by Ravi Subramanian as a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books!