Friday, 11 January 2013

Men and their “get and forget”

Just like New Year resolutions are meant to be broken, my anti blogging plans always end up in the trash bin! I had told myself – no blogging till the exams are over, no checking of page views. But Dil pe kisee ka zor nahi (nobody can control matters of heart)…and the heart feels like shouting it out loud on this blog!

Like most wives, I too have someone to blame for this problem…

My Super Busy Husband…

So, while he works it out in the office with some new team who is keeping him away from his wife, he doesn’t realize he has become my latest bakra for “Shaivi Ka Funda” Wow!

We always long what we don’t have, get into a “do or die” situation to grab it….as if it’s the most important thing in this world. And once, we have it as ours, closed in the closet, safely. Since there is no risk of losing it now. Such is with men (I know men reading this post will abhor me, but guys, I can’t help but sound feminist, I am agitated right now). 

Scene 1: You see, I am not a typical chocolate, flowers loving girl. And to impress a literature freak like me, he indeed had to work hard. And his courtship period report card has been very impressive…reading out my favorite blog to me, writing poems, birthday wishes in 10 different languages, a  new adjective every sms, discussing new books everyday…etc etc etc…he did it all with finesse. I used to wonder then, is there really something as an epitome of perfect gentleman? Coz he proved it every day. Once he actually stopped on the road while going to office so that he could focus on talking to me. NO work, no meeting was more important than me…and I found this too good to be true. The woman in me, Oooh…was on cloud nine!

Then marriage happens…

And now…

Scene 2:  He wakes up in the morning but waits to be woken up officially by me, announcing tea in a particular way. And just when I am enjoying that favorite article in the Sunday paper, he orders another cup. Had I been a restaurateur, I would have loved the extra order…but my reaction is that of a clerk in a government office, when his boss throws and additional file, just when he is about to reach the new high score on solitaire! I continue to look into my paper like a pigeon who closes his eyes, but a 2:1 ratio (the hubby & mom in law v/s me) has me in the kitchen again!

So, I was saying something about men. Once they know they have us, all other things take precedence on us…the boss who never gives them credit, the colleagues ready to stab in the back, the pest friend always dropping in at the wrong time, all intruders are welcome in the “us” time. All is fair with men and their work. But we women know how to juggle various hats. And then they shower the “you should have done….”gyaan…Men…Phew!

I know now you will say one has his moods, commitments, work…but where is our work when we take out time to talk to them, where is our mood when we happily listen to their stuff even if we have things piled up to do…because we women don’t believe in "get and forget!"

I know Mr. hubby, you will hate me after reading this post…but what could I do…I called you today at work, wanting to have a nice little conversation & the word “boss, busy, business, bye” from you sounded like “blah blah blah” . I know u men have a lot of work, meetings and commitments, but so have we. And add to that, we have home, ur family, our family, kitchen and a lot of blah blah blah to attend to. But we never ignore your calls, always listen even if we are busy & give you priority long even after the courtship period is over. We don’t want you men to leave the world for us, but what we need is some (actually as much as u can) pampering, quality time & PRIORITY…

And now, an honest confession….Now that I have vented it out, I feel I have inflated the issue, just to get some fodder for today’s blog…J

Blogging ke liye kuch bhi karegaaaaa! (Anything for a blog!)

Pic courtesy: Google search


  1. Wonderfully well written Shaivi! You put out all ur little emotions so profoundly here.. I can't deny what you said. We men indeed are like that, with the exception of some really nice gentlemen who are very rare. Even i wrote my first poem for the person i love, when love was in the air in the initial days. but after love happened officially, that romance somehow went missing, which i really miss. Not wrote a single other poem for her again. Pathetic for sure..
    Again, a wonderful post.. I am sure your hubby will love you back much more after reading this :)

  2. Thanks Arnab!

    After writing this post I felt guilty...maybe I was harsh on Mr. Hubby. Coz he sent me the usual goodmorning sms from office before he got busy. I was scared I might not have pissed him off with this blog. But to my surprise, he liked it & his introspecting waala silence indicated he too thought what u have mentioned.
    And u must continue to shower ur lady love with surprise pamperings. Women dont say it but when they are pampered, they feel on the top of the world!

    1. I do that at times Shaivi, trying to make her happy by doing little things that might surprise her..But yes, I ll definitely try to do better! :)

  3. the world of woman is too small compared to men and women find comfort in small world cuz it strains mind to think beyond certain not anti-women.i like writing facts or reality.

    i had girlfriends and they din't last more than 3 months cuz the magnitude of emotions and transparency in relationship are not same on 1st day and 90th day.i don't like half-hearted emotions and superficial relationships from my childhood so i can't compromise on my genuine happiness for the sake of a girl.
    a relationship depends on one's righteousness and intellect,you can't blame people when you have a weakness in judging a person.
    get and forget happens in flirting,flirting is nothing but artificial aka fake emotions to make a person happy.

    in any relationship ,before we talk about someone we should have a check list like whether person has basic ethics and his actions are genuine or not.

  4. Hey Rohan,
    Without sounding feminist, I disagree that our world is small compared to men...atleast not for a few of us, & the number is growing fast...
    While the magnitude of emotions & transparency changes with time, if the feelings & commitment are genuine, the commitment enriches the bond with time. When I say get and forget, I mean once v get something, our priorities change as we already have it now. Its true that excess of everything is bad & I know so many women who are such perennial cribbers that men look away after a while...
    However, men are frm Mars & women frm Venus...
    SO, we have diferent feelings, forms of expressions etc etc. and once in a while, it is important to convey our feelings coz thats how a relationship is kept alive...


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