My Hero – My Pa

Often we watch heroes on the celluloid who flex a muscle and smash the villain, and we go gaga. But, what are real heroes made of? Is it just about the looks, muscles, suave and macho appeal?  No, real heroes are beyond that. They are men of iron who have the grit and the guts to stand up for the right. One such hero I have admired since childhood is my father. And the admiration doesn't come by being his daughter; it’s his courage that makes me bow.

My parents were born in a society where women were considered nothing more than cattle – they were suppressed, exploited and kept confined to the kitchen.  Boys however, were encouraged to study and work. Born in a family with modest means, Pa had to work hard to get his share of education. At 20, he set off to the then secluded Andaman & Nicobar Islands on his first job posting. But the bug of enhancing his learning kept biting him.

He had seen his mother suffering in life due to lack of education & had promised himself he would take it upon himself to ensure no woman in his life remain uneducated. He strongly believes when u educate a woman, u uplift the entire family. He had 2 sisters and as per the norms, they were to be married off before their age crossed the adult mark. Pa stood up for them, argued with his parents to let them finish their education. It was tough to convince people of the elderly generation, and Pa took up the responsibility of their studies, channelizing his earnings to fund their education.

After my parents got married, Pa realized how my mother had been forced to leave her studies mid way for the marriage. While he too, like other men of the family could have ignored her aspirations, he promised her he would not let her dreams of education die. Having faced the music for his sisters’ education, he knew it would be a herculean task to convince the elders. It was a taboo to have a daughter in law show her face outside the veil, her studying after marriage would have raised eyebrows. But Pa had already made up his mind. He told his parents about his decision and when they showed immense resistance, he just had one answer, “education is a fundamental right, and I know by doing is I am doing what is right.” He promised his parents he and mom wouldn't let this affect neither the honor of the family nor their household responsibilities.

It was although a tough schedule for mom (I have blogged about it previously here), she was glad as she had her husband standing like a rock by her side, doing everything to ensure her dream of learning was fulfilled. With Pa’s support, mom not only got to continue her studies, she even did her Masters, which was a rare thing for girls in those days and went on to do her medical practice.

Today, Pa has ensured that all the women in our family are educated and independent. His spirit of encouraging education has extended beyond home, and I know several instances where he has single handed convinced parents to educate their daughters, often helping with the education expenses. He could have followed the trend of his times and taken a chill pill, but he decided to be the change he wanted to see around him. That’s what heroes are made of. I know words are not enough to thank you, but for the empowerment you have given us and for the change agent that you are, I salute you my soldier!

This post has been written for the "Soldier for women" contest by Blogadda.com, in association with Gillette.

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2 down 4 to go

The race has begun – the race against time. U count days till the exams are over and it seems a long duration. You start writing the exam and before you know it, the time’s over!

Pic courtesy:Google Search

So, as the blog title reads, 2 exams have gone and 4 more are left. That’s like 1:3! It’s funny that even though nobody scolds me for my performance, out of genuine care and concern, my family calls me up after every exam to ask how it was. Anybody who’s in the same boat as me would understand how it is. If I tell my father that my exam didn’t go well, he gets super concerned and starts making suggestions. Now I hate being a brat and say “You won’t understand pa.” so, I politely try to explain the subject or the issue in layman terms. The exchange goes till either one of us gives up. But it starts afresh as soon as the next exam is over!

If the exam does go well, the praises come so premature that  I wonder if I did indeed perform well as don’t wanna surprise them when result come.

Well, exams also do some distortion to my appetite. Before a tough exam, the appetite is in a dormant mode and as soon as the exam is over, all hell breaks loose! The mess food has to be really bad to control it then.

Same goes for sleep. Before exams, the sleep is banging the door hard. And as soon as the ordeal is over, it goes out of the window!

Today was a relatively easy subject.  I had promised myself a good night sleep and no skipping breakfast. My friend S also coaxed me for a longish walk last night (on the pretext that it would be our last walk in college post which we would be on our own in our hometowns…typical girlie senti stuff!). The walk and the extra ice cream got the DJ (digestive juices) rocking and I hit the sack in no time.

After hitting the snooze button for the 3^rd time, I realized I had fall prey to procrastination. I had decided to cover 2 easy (but highly expected to come in exam) topics early morning, knowing completely that I am just not a morning person. The watch showed it was far from early. With exactly 2.5 hrs to go for the exam, I cursed my laziness and got my fingers working on the laptop.

But I had a promise to fulfill. Today was a must have breakfast day as I had been skipping it for 2 days now. I gave myself all sort of gyan about not ignoring one’s health and gulped down a can of juice with some biscuits. Donno why, I got extremely motherly with myself. “I need to have proper breakfast”, I thought. I saw my friend P going to the mess and asked her to sneak in 2 paranthas as I had no motivation to go to the mess. She smiled and seeing my condition, immediately got me some tidbits to manage by the time she was back. And in no time, P was back with 2 aloo paranthas neatly wrapped up in tissue. 

Paranthas is the favorite breakfast item with of our hostel mess caterer. I guess all hostellers don’t need a description as paranthas are same in all the hostels – thick, half cooked and mysteriously stuffed with a stuffing that plays hide and seek. As I tried hard to make up for the lost time, instead of focusing on the pending topics, my focus was more on the food  – 1^st cribbing, then gobbling it down. Once I was done, I had to have tea else I wouldn't have felt completely fed. By the time it was an hour to go for the exam, I had done everything except revsion, with eating being the major activity. I quickly flipped through the notes and rushed to the exam hall. 

A 3 hour paper is like a relay race, u mess up any lap and u’r out. With barely an hour gone, my stomach started to take revenge against the stuffing it had been subjected to. I was in a fix, to cater to the paining tummy or the painful exam. I chose the latter. The tummy didn’t give up for almost an hour and tried its level best to distract my mind away from the exam. I kept pacifying it with frequent time checks. As soon as I was out of the examination hall, I told myself – every promise need not be fulfilled.

Pic courtesy:Google Search

Look who’s here again!

With much sadness, I announce that its exam time again.  Exams I feel are like common cold – no matter how much u dread them, or try to escape, they are bound to catch u. Just like common cold, there is no perfect way to handle exams, even if you know the perfect tricks. There are always the surprise moments which leave you laughing at your confidence – sometimes at excess of it, or the lack of it. But nevertheless, like cold, they come once every season, you have to go through the rituals & they are gone.

As a kid, even though I used to write my exams on my own, yet, I feel they actually were the responsibility of my mom. Poor mom used to wake up with me at the odd hours, helping me with anything and everything. Sometimes motivating me when I used to get depressed, otherwise chase and scold me to study, then her sweet curd before I went to write the paper; and waiting for me outside the examination hall, immediately taking the paper and asking what I wrote. Mothers are like x ray machines – she used to get my state of mind by looking at my face. So, if I avoided eye contact with her, she used to say “hand me the question paper & just forget about it”, never even waiting for me to give an explanation. And mind you, this happened right through college!

But I have to admit that had it not been for the fear of her scolding, I would have never studied the way I did. Like most youngsters, I too didn’t realize the long term effects & used to study just to finish the task at hand and make mom proud during the result day. And I used to wait for the day when I would grow up and no longer have to write papers.

And now, I wonder what I am doing with myself. There is no compulsion to study. I am no longer answerable for any course I take up. Yet, I study. I get into the same activity that I had waited to get rid off! And when one level is over, I promptly enroll myself for the next one, raising the bar high, axing my own foot.

So , I have an exam tomorrow (and yes, look at my guts, I am blogging!) and because I don’t feel like studying the Oh so tough subject, I ask myself, what do I do to get me studying?  All the fears of scolding etc have long faded into history. The same parents, no matter how I perform, now appreciate me for having tried. Mr Hubby always encourages me to just give my best and dump the rest!

The only motivation left now, is perhaps to genuinely learn something, to add some value to life, and to try my best for future. All long term stereotype gyaan. No mom now to scold me and get me into instant action. No short term motivation! But that’s what I always used to dread. And now, when it has gone, I am finding ways to get a short term motivation! Life….hehe…

Me wonderzzz…

Oof, exams are here again,

Bringing with them lots of pain

No matter how much I study

Everything goes in vain

Yet, they say no pain no gain

In this world, u gotta sustain

So I whip my slowing brain

Before I go insane!

And as always, here are some Google pics...

Why not first?

The world always looks at the person who’s the first. In this rate race, we all want to emerge winners. Nobody ever remembered the person who came second. Does that make the person at the second position inferior? Nope. It takes effort to even come second. One has to aim for the top and not all can be the winners.

I recently went to a parent teacher meeting. The kid who stood first was being praised by all; mothers made a role model almost instantly. The kid who came second stood away from the glory, his mother whispering “U too can be there next session, just work a bit extra hard my dear.” The teacher praised his talent however, gave the same gyan and the poor kid gave a helpless smile. The topper looked at him and gave him a “I am a topper look”. Watching this, from a distance, I was surprised. In a class of 40 bright students, getting the second position was also an achievement. Why not be happy and content with what u achieved today than dismissing it for better prospects in an unknown future? I wondered what we are teaching our generation. On one hand, we say, “there’s too much stress, take it easy”, on other hand, we smartly declare that anything below the top is just not acceptable. 

We all remember the person who climbed Mr Everest first, put the first foot on moon, etc etc. So does that wash it out for the second person?

Then, there are times when getting the second position is purely a work of destiny. A friend, who is a typical Mills & Boons afficionado, was cribbing recently that she is her boyfriend’s second love. She cried and wished she had met him a few years ago so that she would get his first love which would have been ideal, more romantic, blah blah blah! I tried to comfort her by telling her that it’s the present that matters, not the past. As long as their love gives them enough happiness, that’s the best for them. Even gave her some celeb examples. But she went on and on and gave me such arguments about the concept of one’s first love in life that surprised me. Nevertheless, I gave her some gyan about being content with what we have and also gave her a chocolate.

Recently, at a shop, as soon as I picked up a kurta, a lady came and said, “this is so beautiful, I was looking at this, but by the time I came to pick it, u had already picked it up. I won’t even get the same combination now”. There were several other good kurtas in the store, but since I had picked up this good Kurta first, she wasn’t willing to explore the second best alternative. “Wow, so this is like coming first in race”, I thought and smiled.

Me wonderzzz ….

The race has made winning such an important task that every day and everywhere, I see people striving to be the first one -be it in queues, corporate world, or even shops. Have written previously about it here...

Was trying to find some images from Google for this blog and here are some real funny ones I found!

Morning Sky

Clicked this one two years ago on our way to Corbett National Park. Whenever I look at the sun in this pic, I feel it’s like a shy girl standing behind a curtain and peeping; the moment your eyes meet hers, she hides back behind the curtain…

To like or not to like

Man is a social animal. It’s good to share thoughts, feelings and opinions. One of the reasons why we bloggers can’t resist our itch to blog! But my post today is dedicated to some men and women, for whom being social is all about useless, baseless updates nobody is interested in. Yes, I am talking about the hyperactive junta on social networking sites. I had been resisting myself away from writing this one, but a trip to my good old Facebook provoked me to blog it out.

We Indians love to network, and so when few years ago, Orkut came to India, we rejoiced in excitement! Just like Hindi movie brothers separated in Kumbh Mela, long lost friends got back in touch, thanks to Orkut. One could share pics, scraps, have a cute little profile and could even have unlimited sponsored praises from friends. That was not enough to satiate the appetite of social networking hungry netizens. Then came Facebook (FB) – like a super shakti avtar & started a revolution of apps. More benefits for free! Wow! Like kids going for bigger piece of the cake, we went crazy with FB. I even knew a friend’s daughter who made herself a little pouch to keep her stationery, made a face on it and named it FB.

It was fun – one could play games, use apps along with the regular Orkut features; until it came under the scanner of attention seeking junta. And now I see FB updates driving us all crazy. And if have a smart phone with a FB app, be prepared for the constant “ping ping”. The moment one reaches his/her homepage, there’s a field mentioning “what’s on your mind”. Always proactive at making their own assumptions, many people have taken it in the literal sense. So, you have people posting even the minutest details – from their current location to the stuff they are eating; almost like a dutiful child following his mother. You can even trace them by following their FB updates.

Once in a while if you had something special, it would interest us, but who would be interested in knowing what are you eating everyday (along with a pic!). And if by God’s grace, a picture has come out well, it has to be on FB even if it means bombarding your FB friends with constant updates.  I have even seeing some teenagers competing for number of “likes” and followers.

I have a friend who updates everything from her present state of mind to what she is doing etc etc…even if she or anyone in her family is unwell, you can see the latest status on her FB page, along with a pic of course!

Its good to share…but over sharing is annoying. I know someone who posts the entire 100+ pics album whenever she goes for some trip, and then asks “did u see the pics?” I feel like saying “Do I have nothing else to do in life than seeing each and every pic of urs?” Then I realized a better way of handling this – “the power of click”. Just go and like the entire album and you will be spared the torture. Who cares if I actually saw or liked the pics.

I know FB lovers, including my 14 year old niece will hate me for writing this post. But sorry people, I have no other option. I joined FB to connect and share – but when the pressure of “likes” qualifies to be “unliked”, my heart shouts “spare the torture”!!!

Pic Courtesy:Google Search

A wish that had long been due

We all love to dream. Dreams are what drive our actions. They lure, inspire and entice us to take a step ahead, to go the extra mile, to endure the grill life makes us go through every day. And when they come true, it feels like a pinnacle reached.

Just like most youngsters at the beginning of their career, I too nurtured two dreams when I started working – buying a car & owning a house. Having started early in life, I knew they were neither tough nor far. But never knew it would take so long to realize them, all due to some funny reasons.

I began my career with a high paying MNC, a job with a paycheck that made my parents take pride. Six months into my job, I told papa I wanted to buy my own car. “But your office gives you cab facility. Besides, we already own a car. Why do you want one?” he said. “But I want to buy one on my own. It will gimme a sense of accomplishment”, I argued. “Beta, rather than putting your money in something you won’t use much & lose out on depreciation, it’s better to invest in something worthwhile. It will give you a better sense of accomplishment when you actually do something good in future.” His argument, although preachy, was true. I had no need of buying a car.

I used to adore Skoda back then. The sleek yet sturdy look and feel, the excellent bootspace, the amazing features used to entice me to go for one. The bright green logo on the metallic body of the car looked soooo pretty!  But neither could I stretch that much at that time, nor could I find an excuse to counter papa’s argument. My plan went down the drain.

Then came Mr. Hubby in my life. He too already owned a car, which gave us so many sweet memories – our first date, my welcome in the house post wedding, several memorable holidays…the list is long. Still the inside of me itched hard to fulfill my wish of having my OWN car. The Octavia model I had been eyeing long also got discontinued. Often, while driving through the busy roads of Delhi, I used to spot a Skoda and say, “God has made me wait enough, now whenever I buy, it will be Skoda.” Mr. Hubby used to give his signature sweet smile and say “okie dokie”.

Finally, God decided to paint my life with colors this Holi. Few days ago, I was happily working on a project in my hostel when Mr. Hubby called me up and said, “Wanna buy a Skoda Rapid?”  My heart almost instantly went bubbling with enthusiasm. “Are you kidding?” I asked. “No, I dare not mess up with my wife’s wishes” He sounded very convincing.

When happiness has to come, it comes tip toeing from any secret corner. This dream too happened almost instantly. Formalities took a whole day, and the very next day, we welcomed our Skoda Rapid home!  I remembered the scene from the movie “Ghajini” when Asin swells up with pride after buying Ambassador cars. I had finally bought my Skoda, the very car I had dreamt of! Thanks to God & Mr. Hubby, I bought the very car I had always thought to be my first car!

I got the delivery a day before Holi! What better way than this to celebrate the festival of colors! I could see the colors of happiness on the faces of my family members.  

As the priest did the puja for my car in my temple, I looked at Lord Shiva, winked and said “You are the greatest! You know how to make your devotees happy! Thanks sooooo much!”

That day I learnt one of the biggest lessons of my life…

Dreams do come true!

Thats my Skoda Rapid!