Our Platinum Day of Love – at 3600 meters above sea level!

Ours was an arranged marriage. Having been married for quite some time now, I can say that surviving an arranged marriage is like preparing kheer – tastes best when cooked with patience on slow flame. Try rushing into things and you will get a kheer with burnt smell that just doesn’t go away. 

Love, has its own language. While some people go all mushy to express their feelings for their beloved, there are few like Mr. Hubby and I, who discover a new shade of love by sharing small joys and sorrows of our everyday life.

Shortly after our marriage, Mr. Hubby and I planned a trek to the valley of flowers in Uttarakhand. Mr. Hubby being a perfect fitness freak was oozing with enthusiasm that matched my fear for intense physical activities. For the lazy me who has grown up on aloo paranthas smeared with butter and never befriended a workout, any physical activity that makes me wake up early or get that sweat dripping is a complete no. So, workouts and I often prefer separate paths. But when Mr. Hubby proposed the trek, the excitement in his eyes prompted me to play the supportive wife in our newly started married life.

Everything was rosy till the time we reached the base camp. However, the moment we began the trek, the thorns began to surface from the rosy picture. Like a typical newly married lady, I was all style and vanity and preferred to carry a small sling bag rather than carrying a heavy rucksack with essential items. I was scared at the thought of trekking and thought it better to carry minimal weight; and in that effort, I even missed the bare essential – a bottle of water. We thought once we complete the trek, we would get some water. But few passersby told us there was no shop up there and we had been foolish enough to miss something as important as water!

For someone who had never even participated in a race in school, walking uphill on the high altitude (approx 3600 meters above the sea level) without food or water was becoming torturous. I would stop and start panting after every ten steps due to lack of Oxygen at high altitude. My knees and chest cried with pain and the heartbeat was like a high decibel drum thumping fast. For almost half the trek, Mr. Hubby was at his supportive best and even kept me busy in conversations to divert my mind. However, once he realised we were way behind our schedule, his patience began to give up. We could see many people on their way back after spotting some beautiful and exotic flowers the valley offers. To add fuel to the fire, they told we better hurry up as the park closes by 5.30pm and it was already noon.

My oh so patient hubby slowly began to lose patience. I tried my best to brace up, but the lungs wouldn’t just support. Finally I decided the trek was beyond me and I better give up. I asked Mr. Hubby to complete the trek and return while I would wait at the same place.

As if I had blown the whistle of a pressure cooker, Mr. Hubby became furious. “You have spoiled my holiday. If you didn’t have the stamina or the courage you should have told me!” I stood there stiff and silent with my eyes closed as he walked away.

Sometimes anger prompts us to do things that simple motivation cant. Mr. Hubby’s words pierced me and after sometime, I too decided I would complete the trek and would prove him wrong.

I had begun walking for five minutes when a man from the opposite side stopped me. “Are you Shaivi?” he asked. “Y..Yeah...” I said, surprised. “Your hubby met me on the way and has left a message for you. He has asked me to tell you the trek isn’t tough, you will be able to manage, just keep walking. He is waiting for you ahead. Come on”. He said with a smile and went away.

“Oh after all that drama, someone is pretending to be romantic and caring?” I said to myself.

As I walked, I was in for even more pleasant surprises. Apparently, Mr. Hubby had asked every person he met on the way to tell me not to give up; that he believed in me and was waiting for me ahead. So every person on his way back was smiling and passing on the message to me. Some girls even told me “how cute, he is so caring”.

My fatigue evaporated with every message I got and I continued to walk. With every person telling me I was just near completion and Mr. Hubby was waiting ahead, the trek no longer seemed like a tough task. The energy of Love kept me going. I was beginning to feel sorry for Mr. Hubby. I had disappointed him and here he was trying to motivate me by asking every single person he met to pass on the message to me.

After a kilometre, I found myself surrounded by a beautiful landscape filed with beautiful flowers. I could see Mr. Hubby waiting at a distance. As he saw me, his face brightened up with a smile and he stretched his arms true Bollywood style. My steps became faster and soon I was in his arms – a perfect scene from those Yash Chopra movies.

“I am sorry I got angry baby” he said. “No dear, I am sorry, you tried so much to motivate me, I should have stretched myself more.”, I said. “Hey, did you get my message? I asked few people” he said. “Few?” I interrupted him. “Every single person on his way back was like, are you Shaivi? Your hubby is waiting for you ahead. The trek isn’t tough and you are just there…” Mr. Hubby was now blushing. “Oh I wondered if they would pass on the message, so I told every person I met…I wanted to be together with you in this beauty. It would have been incomplete without me holding my wife’s hands” he said.

I was all melting now. I just blushed and hugged him tight as he whispered into my ears, “you make this all seem so perfect!”

Amidst the hesitation and the shyness of an arranged marriage, we had discovered our bond of love…for us, this day was our Platinum Day of Love!

With each sweet n sour moment we have shared in this togetherness called Love, I can say our Love is just like Platinum – precious, pure and everlasting!

This post has been written for the Platinum Day of Love contest by Indiblogger.

I wish she had smart suraksha

A home is a home, no matter what people say. This is how I have always felt about Delhi, the place I have lived all my life. Incidents keep on happening every now and then but I always believed it is one’s attitude towards an issue that matters the most; courage is the most important tool, and no matter how much adverse the situation, presence of mind can help sail through any adverse situation.

The unfortunate chilly night of December 12^th, 2012 proved me wrong.

Manju was the daughter of our domestic help. Having migrated to Delhi from Kolkata for a better lifestyle, she stayed in a one room accommodation with her parents and two younger sisters. Just like any 19 year old, she too had dreams of a better life and she worked hard every day to achieve them. She was a perfect housekeeper during the day, helping her mom with cleaning job in various houses in the colony; a doting daughter and sister by the evening as she cooked the evening meal and helped her younger sister with studies; a student by the night when she studied for the correspondence degree she was pursuing.

A beautiful girl with beautiful black eyes, and lot of dreams in them for a better tomorrow. “Didi, once I finish my studies, I won’t let ma work in houses. Then she too will sit and relax in our own house.” She used to say as I used to smile and say “Amen”.

Her parents were looking for a suitable match since she had reached the marriageable age as per their society. Mom and I often tried to convince Manju’s mom to mary her off only once she had completed her studies, to which Manju used to give an ear to ear smile and say “I will mary a company officer” (she meant an executive working for a decent firm)…

But destiny had different plans for her…

Of late, she appeared to be very tensed. She would be lost during the work, giving empty gazes with her lifeless eyes. Upon probing her one day, she told me a group of hooligans in her locality had somehow had their eyes set on her. They had even approached her father promising a better job for Manju. But, understanding their malicious intentions, she had asked them to leave. Since then, they had threatened to even it out with her. They would often follow her and she was scared. I advised her to file a complaint at the local police station, but Manju feared they would harm her family if they came to know about the complaint. I made her promise that no matter what, she would call me whenever in trouble and I would reach with help at any time of the day/night.

I still remember the evening of December 12. It was my niece’s birthday and we had planned a party for her. Manju loved birthday celebrations and so she spent the whole evening helping me with the decorations and food. It was getting dark by the time she was leaving. Call it my gut feel or just plain concern, I asked her to take an auto instead of walking down to her place, as it had become dark and unsafe. I even offered her money for the rickshaw. As she took the money, she smiled and said, I will manage, I am a bold girl. Thinking she would be fine, I got busy with the  party.

A week passed and there was no trace of Manju. We were all tensed as her phone had been switched off since that evening.

After a week, her mother came to our house and told us the unfortunate had happened that night. While going home, Manju had been followed by the same hooligans, cornered and raped. She had tried to call through the mobile phone but before she could, the rapists threw away her phone.

The hooligans took their revenge, but Manju’s dreams were shattered forever. Her family sent her back to her village in Kolkata, where she was married off in haste.

I wish I had asked her to stay that evening

I wish I had forced her to file a complaint.

I wish her dreams wouldn’t see such a sorry end

I wish she had smart suraksha, so that even with a press of a button, an emergency message could reach 5 of her contacts and even trace her location.

You can download the Smart Suraksha App here…

I am participating in the Seeking Smart Suraksha contest at BlogAdda.com in association with Smart Suraksha App.

* This is a work of fiction.

Ten Commandments of living it safely in Delhi

Dear Niece,

Happy 16^th birthday to you! May you get all the happiness and success and may all your dreams come true. I can see many pretty gifts on that table with the cake and 16 candles…each candle for every beautiful year of happiness you have given us by your presence. I sit in a corner and wonder what can I possibly give a 16 year old with a mind of her own? Well, just like most elders, wisdom is all I have…

You have grown up into a very pretty girl as evident by all those eyes looking at you in admiration. Being the protective mausi, I scrutinize each look and wonder if it is admiration or admiration adulterated with something else. I know I can’t be there with you all the time, you are an independent girl after all. But Delhi is no longer the city it was. I have been born and brought up in a city where I could easily catch that 9pm bus back home after an evening outing with friends. But so did Nirbhaya, the young girl who took that bus on the unfortunate night of 16^th December 2012 – a night that changed her destiny forever.

So on your 16^th birthday, I gift you, from my box of sweet n sour experiences in Delhi, Ten Commandments of living it safely in Delhi…

1.     Dress as per the time and place – I know you just frowned after reading this one! No, I am not asking you to cover yourself in a veil, but then, when in Rome, do what Romans do.  We live in a city where vultures hover around looking for an easy catch, so inappropriate or provocative attire at a lonely place or at the odd hours would get them  hovering.

2.    Stay connected – Just like updating status on FB is cool, it’s cool to keep your loved ones informed about your location. It’s not being a child, rather it signals the child has grown up enough to realize her responsibilities and  keeping someone informed to connect easily in case of an emergency.

3.    Emergency kit – Few cosmetics less in your bag won’t do make a significant change to your look, but a pepper spray, a pair of scissors can be your life savers in emergencies.

4.    The more the merrier – I know you love those late night outs, but moving in groups in odd hours are just so much more fun and safe. Especially when you are at a place that’s not frequented by many.

5.    Get the App – I hope we had this one in our times. That Android phone of yours can be a real life saver in emergencies. Just get the right app. Download the Smart Suraksha App on you phone and at the click of a button, your emergency message will reach 5 emergency contacts specified. What’s more, the app also locates your location and sends It to your emergency contacts even when the GPRS is switched off! Now this one you can’t afford to miss, being the tech savvy and smart young lady you are.

6.    Trust your instincts, not the person – That guy you met 15 minutes back at the party might look like the perfect prince charming. But behind the mask may be hiding the Dracula, waiting to pounce on the beauty. So, look, hear, analyse and observe.

7.    There are no free lunches in this world – We taught this one to you as a kid, and its revision time. Never accept that drink from that friendly stranger in the party.  It takes seconds for the drug laced drink to cast its dirty spell on you.

8.    Be bold – I remember this incident when a guy was staring at me in a bus. I kept on avoiding but when it became unbearable, I just gave him a stern, continuous stare, without even blinking my eyes. 2 minutes and the guy was off that seat. I am not asking you to pick fights, but sending across the right (no nonsense) message makes a lot of sense.

9.    Keep the antennas on – Whether in party or public transport catch that guy getting irritatingly close and shoo him away right there and then.

10. Last but most important – Presence of mind – Intelligence is of no use when it can’t be used at the right time for the right purpose. Acting tactful in an emergency till help arrives can save you a lot of mess ups.

While you too might be having your own to do’s and don’ts, these are some tips experience has taught me. You being the baton holder of the next generation, I pass them on to you and wish you continue to be the free spirited bird that you are, and take flights of freedom at any place, any time.

Love,

Mausi

I am sharing my Smart Suraksha Tips at BlogAdda.com in association with Smart Suraksha App.

Diwali Delights – Besan Laddooos

I doubt if there is any other festival like Diwali…the festival of lights. Each festival brings its own joy but the euphoria created by Diwali is beyond comparison with any other festival. Since childhood, I have loved flocking to the market days ahead of Diwali to see the glitz and grandeur. Of course, with time and security breach incidents in my city, the trips have become focused towards malls. The unique decorations fascinate me and I keep standing there in silent appreciation of the creativity, till an irritated Mr. Hubby signals me to move ahead.

Each year, reports of adulterated khoya and sweets being seized hurt my ears almost like the loud bombs the naughty neighbourhood kids are splurging on, right now! Diwali is a festival of feeling the brightness and joy within and sharing it with people around. But I wonder what pleasure do some people get by spreading ill health, for some materialistic stuff called money that they would anyway end up burning in crackers.

So this year, Mr. Hubby and I decided not to take chances. Mithai boxes were replaced by juice hampers and dry fruits. Even the relatives loved the healthy transformation. But the problem was still not over. Lakshmi pujan is incomplete without sweets, however, I had decided to keep everything home made this time. As I was scratching my head heard for a solution this morning, I remembered a recipe I learnt during the initial days of my Hotel Management course. Besan Laddooos. 

Here’s how Mr. Hubby & I made yum and simple to make besan laddoos for the evening puja

Ingredients (For 12 laddoos)

Besan (ask for mota, thick besan) – 250g

Desi Ghee – 150g

Powdered sugar – 200g (can vary to taste)

Cardamom powder – 2 tsp

Assorted dry fruits – 100g, finely chopped

Method

We heated a kadai and poured the ghee into it. Once the ghee became warm, we put the entire besan and started stirring on low flame.

Tip: Patience is the key to getting the color and consistency right. Mr. Hubby and I stirred the besan alternately as it was getting painful and boring for one person to do it all alone.

After some time, the aroma of besan being cooked reach papa in law in the living room and before I knew, he was asking us when would the laddoos be ready as he was super tempted to eat them. “These are for Prasad papa, no laddoo before evening”, I announced as a helpless papa said “Oh…kay”.

It took us almost 20 minutes of constant stirring on low flame to get the colour right. The smell was more intense now and any more heat now would have made the mixture overdone.

We removed the mixture from fire and even though the smell enticed us to gobble up the mixture there and then, the Puja factor got us some patience. We waited for the mixture to cool a bit and slowly added the powdered sugar, mixing vigorously with hands. Mr. Hubby was hesitant initially but after he saw me enjoying mixing like a halwai, he too pitched in.

Along with the sugar came powdered cardamom and assorted dry fruits. The mixture was still warm when we made it into 12 small balls and kept aside.

Once cooled, the laddoos were all set to pamper Ganeshji and Lakshmiji.

Even though God might not speak explicitly, he loves the little gestures we do to show how much we love him. The laddoos were such a hit that Mr. Hubby and papa in law finished the entire dozen in few minutes (they would go to the kitchen at the pretext of having water and gobbled the entire lot, after the puja of course)…I really didn't know whether to frown or laugh as they looked at me like naughty kids trying to conceal a mischief!

Here’s the Traditional Diwali Menu for the evening -
Pethe ki sabzi
Aloo tamatar ki subzi
Poori
Kheer
Besan Laddoos
Choorma
Cost of the meal - Sunday afternoon siesta sacrificed
Look on the faces of my loved ones - priceless...

Just like our dear Lord Ganesh…I too love Laddooos. You can read my blog about the best places to have laddoos in Delhi here…do visit and feel free to add to the list!

Bon Appetit!

Happy Diwali!

Dance it out for a safer and independent “her”

So what if the feet are bruised,

The spirit to strive gives me wings

A melody plays in the background

I forget the pain the heart sings

I may not have the best dancing shoes

But my spirit if set free

Would run and grab that precious chance

And as if no one is watching, I would dance!

The words are mine but the spirit is hers. She, the woman of India, who loves to dream, dare and dash. She loves to sing her own song and dance like no one’s watching. But the eyes of hungry wolves hovering in her city wouldn’t just let her dance. “She is a girl, she should be shy, behind the scenes, since when did she dare to step out, forget even dancing”, they say. And so, to discourage her, they play various mean games to stop her – teasing, taunting, and assaults. But she is a woman of steel. She knows how to get the step right and if required stomp on the foot of that guy getting too close. She might stay out to work for her family but she sure knows her duties back home, and smartly does the juggling solo dance with finesse! That’s the woman of today – brave, independent and with a heart of gold. 

She loves to live as if there is no tomorrow and dance like no one’s watching. And when troubled, she surely knows how to get back at them in her own way. Thinking of dancing against all odds, I am reminded of the famous artist Padmabhushan Teejan Bai. Born in a backward village of Chhhatisgarh, she faced suppression from the men folk for performing in a form that was male dominated. But she faced them all and went on to perform her way to success, and she is an icon today.

Saluting the spirit of freedom, Dance it out Indiblogger meet was apt to the women who dare. Unlike the usual meets which wrap up by sunset, this one went on till night. The microwaves came in handy as hubbies were instructed to be on their own for a day as wives had the full evening to dance it out.  As the meet progressed, there were few frowns as women safety is an issue that has been discussed and abused time and again. But the performance Jyoti bani Jwala, sent the message that no matter how many hurdles come our way, we need to keep the flame (Jyoti) burning inside. So, all inhibitions were kicked off, as we were safe in the unsafe city with numerous friends like us and the brave heart spirit.

As the winning team was announced, my face was lit up. For the Jyoti inside us had won! I chose not to look at my watch and danced it out for the women in my country who shed away the fear and step out of their homes to chase their dreams.

(Incidentally Jyoti is also the name of the December 16, 2012 gangrape victim who the nation named Nirbhaya. She too, went out to chase her dreams and to enjoy a free life. But some people couldn’t tolerate a girl enjoying her freedom and did their best to teach Jyoti and the women of our society a lesson. Jyoti may have died but the flame (Jyoti) inside every woman burns strong. I dance it out for every woman in my country who dares to live her life without being deterred by the if’s and but’s of the society. She may look fragile, but she is fiery like a tigress. Try harming her freedom and she will show how she can keep herself secure and safe.)

Here’s a song I wanna dedicate to the cause (women safety) that I dance it out for..."badal pe paon hain"

This post is written for the Dance India Dance Indiblogger meet...a once in a lifetime experience where we got to Dance it out with the Dance India Dance Season 4 judges...Master Mudassar and Master Feroz! Here's the facebook page for the Zee TV . Running in its 4th season now, Dance India Dance is a  famous dance show that has taken television like no other show has. 

Some pics from the Indiblogger meet… 

Good Girl Gone Bad!

Every year I promise myself to stay away from Big Boss. But the Mr. Hubby – mom in law duo ensure I fall prey to the juicy gossips and join them in watching all the episodes.

When this season began, I was least motivated to keep up with Big Boss 7. Only Andy and Gauhar gave me some hopes of an entertaining season. It has been a trend that people engulfed in some controversy or generally not doing anything in life are called to participate in Big Boss seasons (who else would have three months to spare?) So when Tanisha’s name was announced, I wasn’t too surprised either. All I remember of her is the Kajol connection and a certain “Neal n Nikki” movie which we had comfortably opted to leave after an hour of watching.

On the launch night of Big Boss 7, Tanisha’s name was announced with much fanfare. Honey coated introduction by Salman made him sound more like a representative of the Bollywood fraternity rather than the host of Big Boss 7. But when Tanisha arrived in the “yucks” red dress look, she justified her selection for Bigg Boss!

Not everyone is blessed with a fab body but madam could have shown a bit poise rather than choosing to lift the dress (typical Jhalla walla style!) while exploring the Big Boss House.

We viewers are not that ruthless after all. Puppy fat, kiddish tone, bad dressing sense, we took them signs of an overprotected, immature kid and thought that considering the family she comes from, she would prove to be one of the most balanced contestants of the house.

Poor Tanisha dear…the balancing act lasted just a week or two until Tanisha’s eyes met Arman’s. And thus began Tanisha’s journey from good to bad. I wondered who is Arman, a 40 something short tempered arrogant uncle who still finds him cool dude. He calls himself actor, but when I googled it out, it showed he has delivered all flops till date! The only movie I could relate to was a certain Jani Dushman where Mr. Arman plays a snake (True to his quality of spitting out doses of poison!)

What Tanisha saw in Arman, she only knows, for that something made her dance to his tunes like no other snake would. She took on almost all other housemates, passing her unwanted judgement on other people’s matters. While Arman earned all the footage, Tanisha earned all the brickbats. What more, even the Arman she countered the world for, snubs her away whenever other inmates question their “just friendship”. The last time this happened, I recalled Kajol’s comments about her sister entering the Bigg Boss house. She had said Tanisha has the quality to lead and organize everyone. Little did she know that fatal attraction robs away even the best of qualities in a person and Tanisha too is just a human being, though quite a dumb one.

Every weekend, it is the good old industry boy Salman who gives Tanisha subtle hints for what not to do as per the unspoken rule book of her filmy family. Be it his suppressing Protyusha to stay Tanisha afloat in the argument, or reminding Tanisha and Arman about the number of cameras in Bigg Boss house (the unsaid in that comment provided so much food for gossip minds!) Every Friday I watch Bigg Boss with bated breath, it might be Tanisha’s chance to get evicted, going by the rising number of dislikes among the housemates. But whenever, Salman Khan announces her safe, I wonder, are the industry folks being partial to her?

While watching the show, often I think aloud – what is it that makes Tanisha so vulnerable to Arman, what is it that makes her run around him and do a constant display of being by his side, a’la true Bhartiya naaari! I know many women actually fall for guys who are dominating and arrogant, as they find it macho. But coming from the family of superstars, Tanisha certainly deserves someone much better than the baddie Arman. So, is it love for Arman, or love for footage that makes Tanisha hover around him? At her age and looks, she could be easily overshadowed by the Ooomph overdose Gauhar, or the cutie cutie Ellie…and maybe this Arman affair is just a spotlight gimmick. Whose name will be printed alongside hers on the wedding card, only time will tell...but my only advice to Tanisha would be –

People come to reality shows to save their failing careers. If you can’t do anything good, at least don’t go bad. Will make groom hunting easier for your family! 

Book review – Baramulla Bomber

Author – Clark Prasad

Publisher – Niyogi Books

Pages – 316

Price – Rs, 395 (You can also grab it from Flipkart)

Sneak preview from the book

An ancient weapon from the Vedas & Bible

Once hunted by the Nazis

Powered by the sound of the universe

Reborn with the help of Quantum Physics

Going to be Unleashed onto the world

& Kashmir holds it’s secret

The only way

To save the world

Is to challenge one’s faith

Multiple intelligence agencies are tracking Mansur Haider, a God fearing aspiring cricketer from Kashmir. His girlfriend, Ahana Yajurvedi is trying to locate her missing mountaineering team, which vanished after a mysterious earthquake struck Shaksgam valley. Investigating Mansur and the Shaksgam valley incident is Swedish Intelligence officer, Adolf Silfverskiod, whose only relationship to God consists of escorting his girlfriend to church.

A dual China-Pakistan battlefield scenario facing the Indian Home minister, Agastya Rathore, whose ancestoprs carry a prehistoric secret linked to the stars. He is faced with the challenge of finding a lasting solution to the Kashmir crisis.

Which Biblical weapon was tested in Shaksgam Valley? Why is MansurHaider important?Is there a solution to the Kashmir crisis? Can destiny be controlled? Does a cosmic religion exist?

My view

When BlogAdda sent me Baramulla Bomber for review, I was quite uncertain if I would do justice to the book. For it is a science fiction espionage thriller. I have been often disappointed by many books claiming to be science fiction stuff when all that they end up doing is revolving around some plot, unnecessarily complicating it and then winding up everything in a hurry.

The cover seemed very impressive and even the impressive illustrations and the maps. And no sooner had it arrived that I thought it would be the perfect companion for my metro rides. But don’t get caught by mis notions. It’s a book with many a twist and turns, and one has to concentrate else the ever changing situations and the constant inflow of new characters will leave a reader thoroughly confused.

The author has created a heady cocktail with ingredients like the Kashmir issue, Indo China relations, science, mythology, a dash of cricket for humour and lot of thrill. Each character has his own story to tell – Mansur Haider, who undergoes the transformation from an aspiring cricketer to the Baramulla bomber; Agastya Rathore, the home minister who has to find a way to save a nation; the author has done justice to the characters and the fast pace of the book.

Overall, Baramulla Bomber is sure to keep your thrill quotient high with its fast pace and lot of twist and turns.

The one area where I felt the author could have fared better is the length of the book. It was a real struggle to keep up with the book in the initial hundred pages, coz the overflow of information and illustrations was beginning to get irritating. However, once you cross that mark and started to get the hang of the story, it is sure to keep you hooked on. Full of suspense, in fact the author has even mentioned a disclaimer in the book for bloggers not to give details of the plot or plot spoilers, so grab your copy now!

About the author –

Clark Prasad, aka Suraj Prasad, was born in Lagos, Nigeria. He has mostly lived in Lagos, New Delhi, Mangalore and Kozhikode.

A pharmacist with a management degree, Clark currently works as a management consultant and is based at Bengaluru. Baramulla Bomber is his first book.

This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books!